If you are anything like me, your high school years were filled with reading as many Nicholas Sparks books as you could find, countless nights spent watching the newest chick flick with your best friends, and perfecting your whole wedding on Pinterest. I mean if we are being honest, we’ve been mapping out our love stories since the first time we saw Cinderella meet Prince Charming when we were 5 years old. We dream of finding the right guy, getting married, and living happily ever after. It’s a wonderful dream and if that is the will God has for your life that story will one day unfold.
But sweet friend, the reality is if you are single right now, that is okay. Singleness is not a punishment it is an incredible gift. There is nothing wrong with you because you are in a single season of your life. You are loved, and worth being pursued. To settle by giving into the pressure that you constantly need to be in a relationship to be valued only leads to heartbreak and self-destruction. A relationship will not fill the God-sized whole in your heart that is causing you to feel lonely. Only God can do that.
This season of singleness in your life right now is the perfect opportunity to pursue the Lord with your whole heart. If you fall in love with the one who first loved you and pursue your love story with Jesus first you will find a sense of contentment and eternal love so large you can’t even comprehend it. God’s love for us is infinitely larger than the capacity of any other humans love. When we pursue God over boys or our own version of a love story we find our worth, and purpose have always been in him alone. In this season, we have more time then we will ever have in our life to wholeheartedly fall in love with Jesus.
It is a well known fact that Paul was obsessed with singleness, contrary to what the popular culture around him believed. There is so much we can learn from his letter to the Corinthians on relationships. Most notably, he affirms the pursuit of Jesus’ heart first in writing,
“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband”
-1 Corinthians 7: 34
If our eyes aren’t constantly fixed on writing our own love stories but rather on letting the author of all great love stories craft our futures then we can begin to become content in his plans for the future. We need to trust that in God’s perfect timing that he will place that man into our lives. If it is ultimately his plan, we will have the rest of our lives to pursue Christ with that person. But right now, your future Mr. Right should not be your heart’s desire. The harsh truth is, that feeling in your heart to be loved will never be completely satisfied by a guy because we are all beautifully flawed humans. The good news is, you are already loved by a man who died to get to know you and at the end of the day he is the only one you truly need.
Beautiful friend, we were not put on this earth to pursue boys, but rather to pursue Jesus and further his kingdom. Being single does not mean you have to feel lonely, unloved, or unchosen. God already chose to be in a relationship with you, and that is the most important relationship in your life you could ever pursue. Take full advantage of your singleness, flip your perspective, and start falling in love with God’s heart first. Stop vicariously living through chick flicks and your perfect pinterest boards, and start opening your bible and purusing a future with Jesus. The secret to the perfect happily ever after is being content in the place you are in right now, chasing after Jesus, and letting God write your future love story in his perfect timing.